How To Introduce Sex Toys Bringing toys into the bedroom can be scary if you haven’t done it before. But there are some simple things you can do to make it easier. First of all, like other sex acts, using toys with your partner should be consensual. Even if you’ve talked about it in the past, it’s always a good idea to check in before or during sex to see if they’re comfortable with it. If you’ve never had the conversation before, use an article or even this video to start things off. Make sure to avoid yes/no questions like, “Can we try it?” Nothing shuts down a conversation more quickly than a, “No…” When you’re ready, start with a toy that’s small and non-phallic. Luxury sex toys tend to be more discreetly shaped so they’re a little less threatening to a partner who’s worried the toy will replace them. Have the toy within reaching distance of wherever you’re having sex, make sure it’s clean, and bring it out when you’re craving something extra. Now what happens when your partner is hesitant about using toys? Maybe they believe some myths like they’ll be replaced or you won’t be able to enjoy sex anymore together. This is a really hard situation because at the end of the day we can’t change anyone’s mind but our own. But there are some things you can do. Think about their biggest concern and address that with information that will reassure them. Focus on the benefits of using toys, specifically together. It feels better for both of you, helps mix things up and keep things new and fun. If you’re comfortable, also mention that it helps you get the stimulation you need to orgasm, no matter what position you’re in. If they’re a statistics person, you can tell them that majority of sex toy users are people in relationships and they’re using them to enhance rather than replace their sex life. Reassure them that as much as you love your toy, it can never ever replace them – a person and a machine serve two different functions in your life. Toys are designed to hit our pleasure centers in ways that don’t always work during intercourse – and some of that is just good old fashioned geometry. For example, the clitoris is the pleasure center for people with vulvas yet during most intercourse, it doesn’t get much if any stimulation. Toys help with that. See female anatomy: Lastly, you may want to create some rules around toy use. For example, maybe you only use them together when you mutually masturbate. Or if you struggle to orgasm during intercourse, avoid using the toy for a few days before sex. And remember, sharing a new experience together helps your relationship become more intimate and you feel closer to each other. That’s a reason to try a toy if I ever heard one. My Secret Luxury is a high-end adult products retailer. We are an online sex shop where we sell sex toys online at and at in-home parties and sex ed workshops all over the United States with We are the luxury sex toy experts selling only body-safe adult toys and sex accessories for women, men and couples.